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Presidential Facts I Learned In School

Barack Obama is our nation’s first black, mixed-race, Indian, extra-galactic president. George Washington could not tell a lie. He had a rare disease known as “Pinocchio Syndrome” which made him physically react to lying. Martin Van Buren was, in fact, president at some point. Thomas Jefferson coined the phrase “Jungle Fever” as well as “once you go black, you never go back” Theodore Roosevelt was shot during every speech he ever gave. Abraham Lincoln wore such a large top hat… Keep Reading

Press Conference for a Band Who’s Album is Blowing Up

(Reporter gets called on): Yeah, Keith Ruster, Rolling Stone. Your album is blowing up, gaining a lot of popularity, and acclaim. How do you feel about that? Frontman: Look man, we didn’t write this album for rolling stone. I think I speak for the group when I say that we are all pretty sure about you guys being homophobes. We don’t care about people being homosexual, man. This album is about how I feel… You know… like when I’m in… Keep Reading

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