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12 Buzzfeed Articles That Get Posted to Your Facebook Wall

1. Anything with “best friend” • “OMG 1,2,4,7,8,14,21 are so us!!!” 2. Anything with “roommate” • “LMAO at 6! By the way we need to have a serious meeting. When can you get on fb chat?” 3. Something about your favorite show • Let’s hang out and stare in the same direction and not talk 4. Something about your favorite anything • “I can’t believe other people are as passionate about dogs with human bodies as you are!” 5. Things… Keep Reading

The Sundial Podcast Ep. 7 – Questions and Coping. Alright, Cool.

Because Sound-cloud only allows 2 hours of free audio hosting at a time, I’m afraid we’ve had to remove this embedding. BUT DON’T YOU WORRY YOUR LITTLE HEAD!! All of our episodes can be downloaded or streamed for free off of iTunes at the below URL: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-sundial-podcast/id699669178 In this episode, Collin, Bri, Dan, and Ryan knock around definitive issues of The Sundial. Collin overuses the word behemoth and paragon. The Sundial gets a new animal mascot, Bri invites Robin Thicke to sit… Keep Reading

The Rogue Academic Calendar

The group shifted and settled, connecting their gazes one at a time as they sat around the crowded table. One would think that in a meeting of so many different College Academic Calendars, there might be some tension (stemming from long-festering rivalries), but the tiny liberal arts school calendars seemed perfectly comfortable wedged between the larger public schools. As far as anthropomorphized clusters of deadlines go, this was a genial group. Of course, there was one troublemaker among them –… Keep Reading

How To Schedule: A Step-by-Step Instruction Guide

1. Have a life-affirming meeting with your advisor that fills you with false hope. Walk into the office and sit down at the chair across from her long desk, coated in a layer of general education requirements. Look into her smiling face and realize this person is here to help you. Ensconced in a new feeling of worth and acceptance, pour out your dreams and aspirations into this honey-soaked bubble of possibility. Watch as she pulls out a fresh sheet,… Keep Reading

Television Shows with One Letter Removed:

How I Met Your Other – Told entirely in flashbacks, it’s the story of how it took one naïve, long-winded man nine years to figure out his spouse was cheating on him F·i·e·n·d·s – A sitcom about a group of super villains living across the hall from each other Gee – Just footage of Gordon Gee walking around, wearing bowties, breaking into song Will and Race – a drama in which Will, a black man in the fifties, just tries… Keep Reading

The World Record for the Longest Double-Take

A Sundial Feature Article: We’ve all done it before–­looked at something odd, looked away, realized it was odd, and suddenly looked at it again, really thinking about it only after the second look.  The Double-Take.  Some of us are absentminded and can take a few seconds, or even minutes for a double-take, but last month, Columbus resident Brian Mills did something extraordinary—he broke the world record for the longest time in between the two takes of a double-take. Exactly two… Keep Reading

Your Weekly Sundial Horoscopes: Episode III

Hello, beloved readers of The Sundial.  An invisible, disembodied voice follows me around all day and whispers truths into my ear.  Awful, mind-shattering truths that destroy my construct of reality on a daily basis.  It also whispers twelve horoscopes into my face!  Without further ado, here are your fates: Aquarius- Jupiter is rising.  Therefore, you will be mobbed by stinkbugs.  Grotesque amounts of stinkbugs.  In your room, in your classroom, on the bus, in the rain, in a train, in… Keep Reading

The Sundial Ep. 6 – Written and Directed by Tyler Perry

https://soundcloud.com/the-sundial/the-sundial-podcast-ep-6 Collin, Bri, Dan, and Ryan sit down to discuss black comedy (as in macabre comedy). Also, Collin sets up a date with Paul, Dan is once again compared to Bill Cosby, Bri describes her 5 tiger-based Pinterest boards, and Ryan almost immediately folds under the pressure of absolute power. Keep Reading

Post-Meeting Donuts

A Sundial-worthy selfie of some of our writers getting donuts after our last meeting. They were delicious, in case you were wondering. Keep Reading

FRESHMAN FINDS FRIEND’S FELINE

COLUMBUS – Earlier this week, in Park-Stradley Hall, Audrey Martin unexpectedly uncovered her roommate’s cat in their dorm room. “I knew she was crazy about her cat, but I had no idea she actually brought it to school!” said Audrey. Lyndsay confessed to her Residence Advisor (RA) after Audrey’s discovery that she actually brought her cat, Sadie, with her on move-in day. The feline discovery came eight weeks into the semester when Lyndsay was preparing to do her first load… Keep Reading

Fast Food Math

by Dr. Kyle Marks McDonald’s + Racism = Taco Bell Taco Bell – Nihilism = Chipotle Chipotle = Qdoba Qdoba / Qdoba = 1 1 x .1 x Wendy’s = Arby’s Arby’s x 1.5 = Jimmy Johns √Jimmy Johns = Toppings Toppings + Wild Abandon = Pizza Hut LogCrust(Pizza Hut) = Cheese Cheese + Innovation = America! -Kyle Marks, Contributor Keep Reading

Reflections on the Art of Voice Acting

By Keith Barnes Has it really been fifty years already? It seems like just yesterday that I was cast as Garry Goat on Barnyard. I can still remember that smiling goat holding up a bag of Johnson’s Livestock Feed and saying my immortal catchphrase, “This is baaaaaaad news!” Then Chuckie Chicken would hold up Anderson’s Animal Feed and say his catchphrase, “Bak Bak Bak Buy It!” It was a simpler time, shattered by that fateful November day in Dallas. The President died and so did… Keep Reading

The Dentist is My Best Friend

On my most recent visit to the dentist, a stocky, bird-like dental hygienist greeted me and I was informed X-rays would be taken of my jaw. I followed the hygienist to the x-ray room, excited about the prospect of seeing my bone structure as I had spent the previous few weeks debating whether or not my cheekbones were average or higher than average. Thus, scientifically qualifying me as attractive. “Can you take that out?” she asked,” pointing to my gold nose ring or… Keep Reading

The Sundial Podcast Ep. 5 – We All Deserve a Second Draft

Because Sound-cloud only allows 2 hours of free audio hosting at a time, I’m afraid we’ve had to remove this embedding. BUT DON’T YOU WORRY YOUR LITTLE HEAD!! All of our episodes can be downloaded or streamed for free off of iTunes at the below URL: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-sundial-podcast/id699669178 In this episode, Collin, Bri, Dan, and Ryan knock around definitive issues of The Sundial. Collin overuses the word behemoth and paragon. The Sundial gets a new animal mascot, Bri invites Robin Thicke to sit… Keep Reading