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Home for the Holidays

Jenny hugged all her new friends she had made in that first semester of freshman year goodbye as her parents carried her luggage to the car. There was her roomie/bffl/future maid of honor Katie, her suitemates Laura and Emily, and Kaci, the girl from down the hall with whom she had shared a sloppy drunken kiss at her first rager and she still wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it but did her hug feel a little warmer? A… Keep Reading

Bio-Chem Major at Library Has No Idea the World is Basically Over

Tom Langston, a Bio-Chem major currently studying for a very difficult final, was reportedly in Thompson Library during the long-awaited Big 10 championship and so has no idea that the entire world is basically over. Diligently pouring over his books and reviewing practice questions, Mr. Langston was seen to rub his eyes and go for a cup of coffee while, just outside his ignorant paradise, everyone he loves is sobbing into a  piece of scarlet or grey memorabilia. He returned to… Keep Reading

SNARKY – Personalized Holiday Cards

INTRODUCING SNARKY  The Greeting Card Company Individually Made Cards For Your Loved Ones Simply fill out our online form by providing us with a stereotype, occasion and any other information you feel is pertinent for us to know. We guarantee that within a week, one of our staff members will design a card, sure resonate with the intended recipient SNARKY The Personalized Greeting Card SOME OF OUR FAVORITES INCLUDE: INTERFAITH COUPLE- Hanukkah and Christmas  MAZEL TOE! The real miracle of… Keep Reading

The 10 People You Will Have to Interact with During Family Christmas Parties

1.  The aunt that questions your sexuality because you’re single.  – Next time she asks you, “Are you a lesbian?  Is that why you don’t have a man in your life?” Respond with: “What’s a lesbian?”  I can promise you she will never ask you again. 2. The creepy cousin that keeps hitting on you.  – Don’t worry, if he lives four states away, there’s no need to file a restraining order. 3. The cousin you think is kinda hot.… Keep Reading

The Sundial Podcast Ep. 8 – Sketchy YouTube Reviews

Because Sound-cloud only allows 2 hours of free audio hosting at a time, I’m afraid we’ve had to remove this embedding. BUT DON’T YOU WORRY YOUR LITTLE HEAD!! All of our episodes can be downloaded or streamed for free off of iTunes at the below URL: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-sundial-podcast/id699669178 In this episode, Collin, Bri, Dan, and Ryan knock around definitive issues of The Sundial. Collin overuses the word behemoth and paragon. The Sundial gets a new animal mascot, Bri invites Robin Thicke to sit… Keep Reading

Twas The Night Before Finals

Twas the night before Finals, and all through the hall, Not a student was stirring, no movement at all The books were perused and studied with care, In hopes that a decent grade would soon be there. The roomies were fixed all stiff in their beds, While visions of calculus messed with their heads. My roommate with his friend, and I with my buddy, Had just settled down for a long night’s study. When outside the window there arose such… Keep Reading

The Latkes in the Pan

Hi there! It’s voice actor turned singer-songwriter Keith Barnes with another holiday classic!  If you loved Elves on Strike, Let’s Meet Under the Mistletoe for Sex, or The Persistent Carolers, I’d like to share with you a little Hanukkah tune I wrote.* I’m not too sure how it came out, but hey, I’ve got kids to buy presents for and cockfighting debts to pay off.** “The Latkes in the Pan” by Keith Barnes All through the house there is that… Keep Reading

An Ode to Kwanza

Oh Kwanza You’re so fine You’re so fine You blow my mind Hey Kwanza! Hey! Hey! Hey Mickey! Hey Kwanza!  -Scott Miller, Contributor Keep Reading

Christmas Gifts You Get EVERY YEAR

Clothes- primarily socks (Nothing says Christmas like opening a present hoping for something awesome and seeing it’s just a pack of socks). Gift from relatives who can’t quite remember how old you are- Boy: “Driving for Dummies” Driving Manual. (I’m 18 Grandma…) Girl: One Direction Poster (Because you think the fact that I liked “Music” on Facebook means that I meant One Direction.) Gift Card from distant relative that pretends to know you really well and thinks he/she is a… Keep Reading

An Open Letter from The Mirror Lake Rent-a-Fence

Dear OSU Students, I am a Rent-A-Fence: gnarled, cold, abused, hated and self-loathing. I didn’t choose this life it chose me. Every day I have to hear taunts and insults. Every day I slip deeper into depression. This is not my fault. You should blame Dr. J and Alutto. However, being a Rent-A-Fence is not my career goal. It is a simple means to an end. I’m just like every other student here. I’m just studying to build my resume.… Keep Reading

5 Reasons to Date a Girl with Narcolepsy

That article about dating a girl with an Eating Disorder was useful and inspirational, but now that you’re bored with her, remember that there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Here are five reasons to try a Narcoleptic: Excessive Daytime Sleepiness means it’s always bedtime. The first sign of Narcolepsy is increased daytime sleepiness. Pretend to be caring and sweet by offering to take naps with her. Getting into a bed is the first step toward having sex.… Keep Reading

12 Buzzfeed Articles That Get Posted to Your Facebook Wall

1. Anything with “best friend” • “OMG 1,2,4,7,8,14,21 are so us!!!” 2. Anything with “roommate” • “LMAO at 6! By the way we need to have a serious meeting. When can you get on fb chat?” 3. Something about your favorite show • Let’s hang out and stare in the same direction and not talk 4. Something about your favorite anything • “I can’t believe other people are as passionate about dogs with human bodies as you are!” 5. Things… Keep Reading

The Sundial Podcast Ep. 7 – Questions and Coping. Alright, Cool.

Because Sound-cloud only allows 2 hours of free audio hosting at a time, I’m afraid we’ve had to remove this embedding. BUT DON’T YOU WORRY YOUR LITTLE HEAD!! All of our episodes can be downloaded or streamed for free off of iTunes at the below URL: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-sundial-podcast/id699669178 In this episode, Collin, Bri, Dan, and Ryan knock around definitive issues of The Sundial. Collin overuses the word behemoth and paragon. The Sundial gets a new animal mascot, Bri invites Robin Thicke to sit… Keep Reading

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