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Tales From a Childhood: My Ghost Dog

For my dead dog, who is dead. Ratchet was part of the family and we all loved him, but there’s no denying he was the dumbest dog around. It eventually got him killed. He died running into the street to catch a squirrel, but when the squirrel went up a tree on the other side, he just stopped, stood there, and got hit by a truck…a full minute later. The truck was making a bunch of noise, but he was… Keep Reading

Adrien Brody’s Eyebrows Escape from His Face

As Br-tn-y Th-mps-n (vowels left out to preserve anonymity) was jogging home from her pottery class last W-dn-sd-y (again, anonymity), she suddenly felt a movement in her purse. “I stopped, and then they jumped out with my wallet and makeup. Two large, undulating, and inexplicably suave black caterpillars. They made off with all of it. I was stunned!” The victim said to police during questioning. This is not an isolated incident. Several reports have recently come in about a pair of eyebrows, for that is… Keep Reading

Meeting, August 26th

    Check out these pictures from our first meeting of the year! The Sundial can’t be certain, but we’re pretty sure this is the funniest collective of people ever assembled under one roof. Keep Reading

10 Reasons to Come to The Sundial’s First Meeting

Hi everyone! Our first meeting of the year is tonight (Monday the 26th) at 9:00 PM in the Student Alumni Council Room on the second floor of the Ohio Union! In honor of the occasion, here is a list of 10 reasons why YOU should be there! THERE WILL BE FREE PIZZA. Feel free to stop now without shame if that does it for you. Seriously, the free pizza part is true, no matter what comes after that. Some members… Keep Reading

The Sundial Podcast Ep. 1 – What Is The Sundial?

Because Sound-cloud only allows 2 hours of free audio hosting at a time, I’m afraid we’ve had to remove this embedding. BUT DON’T YOU WORRY YOUR LITTLE HEAD!! All of our episodes can be downloaded or streamed for free off of iTunes at the below URL: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-sundial-podcast/id699669178 In this episode, Collin, Bri, Dan, and Ryan knock around definitive issues of The Sundial. Collin overuses the word behemoth and paragon. The Sundial gets a new animal mascot, Bri invites Robin Thicke… Keep Reading

DON’T Drop That Thun Thun

“I warned them not to,” Killa-F of The FaNaTTicZ whispers as he slowly closes his laptop, a “Best of Vines” video halting mid-vine. He leans forward in his leather chair, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his open palms. The crackle of the fire before him is just beginning to soothe him when he hears that oh-too familiar jingle, and he answers the phone. “Hello?” “This is serious.” No introduction. It is Ez The Great, his… Keep Reading

Incoming Freshmen Makes Lifelong Friends on Class of 2017 Facebook Page

At 11 PM, in the midwest suburban home of Daniel Hines, all is quiet but for the sound of typing. The soon-to-be first-year engineering major sits at the desk in his room, a faint smile illuminated by the pale glow of his computer monitor. As he refreshes his browser, another post appears on The Class of 2017 Facebook group, which he reads before blowing a short burst of air through his nose and commenting “LOL”. “I’m so glad I found… Keep Reading

Counting Your Blessings

It’s always healthy to think about the luckier details of your life. Because many of us have recently become jaded and cynical, here’s a little bit of help: 10 reasons you are luckier than you think. Your name isn’t Hefty Cavendish. If you name IS Hefty Cavendish, you were just mentioned in a very prestigious College Comedy Magazine! We live in an age of convenient and infinite information, so much so that we throw a giant hissy fit for every… Keep Reading

New Charlotte Bobcats Line-Up Plans to Paw at the Competition

After last season’s disappointing record (an NBA worst at 7-59), Charlotte Bobcats head coach Paul Silas and owner Michael Jordan officially introduced at a recent press conference the new 2012-2013 line-up. “To be blunt, we’re replacing our entire line-up with live bobcats,” Jordan announced. D.J. Augustin was noticeably disappointed by the announcement. “I understand that we had a bad record, “ Augustin said. “But to replace us with feral cats seems a bit extreme.” The new team was traded from… Keep Reading

A Q&A with The Lord Almighty

PART 1 Collin Gossel – Let’s get things started! Thanks for coming in today! God – Well, to be honest, I am an ever present entity throughout the entire universe so it wasn’t really a big deal. C – Oh sweet, thanks again!  G – Yeah, it’s just a matter of reworking the atoms in a certain area to take on the appearance of a physical being which I can then focus my consciousness through. C – Yeah, like I… Keep Reading

Phrases everyone learns in language class:

Where is the library?  (Just incase I want to look at books I can’t read) Where is the bathroom?  (Because the international signs for the bathroom weren’t a big enough clue) Where do you live?  (I’m a stalker on the weekend) I don’t speak _________.  (I only took 4 years of it in high school) How are you?  (Wait, you’re a stranger, I don’t care.) My favorite color is _______.  (Thank you for that piece of useless information) How old… Keep Reading