Sundial Originals

Prose, poetry, lists, and other miscellaneous pieces written by The Sundial Staff for the express purpose of making you laugh. We know you all need it. Especially you, Denise.

Dear Amy, I can’t type this final paper. Every time I try to put pencil to paper my mind just goes blank. I can’t construct a thoughtful rhetorical argument about the cause of political divide in the German political system and I can’t spout the …

Pro: Chipotle Con: Guac costs extra   Pro:  Cookouts Con: Hamburger buns come in packages of 8 but hamburgers come in packages of 6.   Pro: You can buy tater tots whenever you want Con: You can buy tater tots whenever you want   Pro: …

I make an unusual number of comments about selling my soul. Whether that’s saying “I would 100% sell my soul for a piece of cake right now” or “I would 100% sell my soul for $2.00 to buy some glitter stickers,” I’m usually putting my …

  How dearly do I wish to sample thee, So gently tucked between each slice of bread, The golden treasure of amorphous cheese. Enraptured am I, bliss flits through my head In manner unlike any meal before Could ever cause within my fragile frame. What …

    This is the third movie in the original Spy Kids trilogy. By now, we all know the characters and their special kid spy skills. This movie is cool because it is 3D and about video games. This movie has so much stuff in it, …

Just in case you’re having a little trouble getting down that first paragraph, here are a few words of advice. The I In With Considering There This An As When If Over It A Many Someone Whether –Hannah Wagner, Senior Staff Member

This is a movie with a kangaroo and money. Cory from Cory in the House grows up to be the dad from ABC’s Blackish and he is friends with Vern from Stand by Me. Anyways, they work for the guy from Deer Hunter and he …

WANTED: CREW OF POST-GRAD FRIENDS As a recent college graduate, I’m unsure of how adults are supposed to make friends. I assume that they meet people by approaching them at the post office, attending book signings, or waving at each other in round-a-bouts. However, I …

To my dear Chubbles620, After March 29th, 2017, this crazy life we built together will be but a cherished memory. I could only wish to be half the penguin you were. I wouldn’t take back these 9 and a half years for the world. You …

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