Sundial Originals

Prose, poetry, lists, and other miscellaneous pieces written by The Sundial Staff for the express purpose of making you laugh. We know you all need it. Especially you, Denise.

This is the first movie review I am doing for an Oscar-winning film. I think. It’s for Sydney Lawson,* she loves movies. Anyways, this is a movie about girls in a car. They kill shoot a bad guy and then drive away. There is this …

Thou still beautiful queen of phenomena,         Thou child of science, unnatural some may say,  A mathematic chaotician, who warned them        Life finds a way:  What prehistoric beauty resides within the park?        Of blood cells or magic, or of both,                 In attempt of …

I don’t have long hair but I do have money for a nice weave I don’t have friends but I do have Netflix I don’t have good grades but I do have connections *wink I don’t have life plans but I do have a whole …

Hey, Facebook group, my name is Thomas Niedermeyer and I, like you, am an incoming freshman here at Apache State University, let’s go, Gauchos! See how much school spirit I have? I’m hiding that I didn’t get into Brown and am overcompensating for the fact …

A Real Poem

March 16, 2017 // 0 Comments

A Real Poem Let’s talk Let’s chat Have interesting conversation You know what’s awesome Poems Poems are great This poem is not great It’s pretty terrible honestly I need something original Outside the box Something crazy and cool I have no idea what to do …

Everyone loves celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, whether they’re Irish or not. Most people know the simple traditions, like wearing green and pinching everyone who isn’t, but do you know these lesser known St. Patrick’s Day Traditions? Green beer Dye your dog green (we don’t know …

Florida

March 14, 2017 // 0 Comments

Florida Hot, Why the fuck is it so hot? Why did I come here? this place sucks I mean the people here voted for Trump so… On top of that Bugs are everywhere why, why? Shit! That alligator is like 30 feet away I heard …

Dear man on my Tinder and Plenty Of Fish, I know for a fact you are a catfish.   The same boring bio and perfect ab pic, I’m one DM away from seeing your dick.   You stay mostly silent, til you’re looking to fuck, …

    This is the quintessential St. Patrick’s Day movie. Ian Thomas from Pretty Little Liars plays basketball. He’s like in 8th grade and has some coin. Somebody takes the coin and he becomes a leprechaun. This is because his mom is Irish and his dad …

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