For Hannah Wagner
I just now finally finished up college and graduated, but now that I’m out in the real world, I’ve spent every single day sitting in bed and watching old episodes of Game of Thrones on my laptop. Every now and then I order some Papa John’s so I don’t starve but that’s about it. What am I supposed to do now that nobody is telling me what to do?
With Pomp and Circumstance,
Dear “Grumbling Graduate”,
How did you people even get this email? Is there a magazine out there that accidentally gave out the wrong contact information or something? And if that’s not the case then why would you assume emailing us, a humor magazine run by people that are still in college would give you any answers? Nevertheless, since people like you constitute a now sizable portion of our reader base, here’s my advice to you:
- Pick a different show to binge watch. Nothing against Game of Thrones, but right now is really not the time for your escapist fantasies. You’re going to want to start applying for jobs, and you probably won’t find any job as a dragon rider. Maybe if you watch something more relevant to your life, like New Girl or The Office you can start thinking more realistically and getting ideas.
- Stop ordering Papa John’s. Okay, I’m not even going to get into the political aspect of this, but really? Papa John’s? That’s what you’re ordering? I get that your life is depressing but that doesn’t mean your pizza has to be too. Switch it up, maybe order some Chinese food or something. Or don’t order delivery because my gut is telling me you barely have any money and ordering out every day isn’t helping.
- Figure out what you want to do with your life. You have your degree. Now you have to use it. Your job doesn’t really have to do with it but it would probably help. Chances are you probably don’t want to watch Game of Thrones for the rest of your life. Or maybe you do. But find some way to make that a career.
Hopefully, that motivates you to do… whatever is you want to do. Before I go I want to reiterate that this magazine is run by people still in college so we really don’t have a better idea of this than you do at this point
An anonymous Sundial member whose name definitely won’t be in the byline