- <$20 Gift Card to a chain restaurant, probably Panera.
- “Non-committal” diamonds
- Passive-aggressive comments about guys she hangs out with
- Bake her some cookies, but burn some
- Crippling insecurity
- A handmade card with a really romantic inscription. No Shakespeare.
- Write her a short story and put too much time into it.
- Like twenty extra pounds
Do Not Buy
- “Committal” Diamonds
- Anything made out of mink
- Telling her that you love her and expecting a response other than “look, I just don’t feel the same way, I’m sorry. I’ve told you this time and time again. You just need to get over it”
- A weird hook-up with a girl from high school who you were pretty sure was a lesbian.
- Literally, anything in the world to take your mind off the fact that she’s only going to buy you something out of obligation.