To Pimp A Reindeer: Part 1

by

Beat: “Stark’s Reality” by BadBadNotGood & Ghostface Killah

[Verse 1: Santa Claus]
Ho, ho, ho, to the motherfuckin’ toaster
Yo, Santa here, comin’ through loud and clear
Pimpin’ golden horseshoes on my reindeer
Fuck a Spanish Inquisition this a crusade
I’m coming prematurely this year and I’m stealing all the holidays
I’m a god to these people, I deserve my own pantheon
But I’m just getting started so you better keep your panties on
I’m long gone, clock ticking ‘, running out of time
So I’ll take Thanksgiving too, thanks now it’s mine
Sliding down your chimney fuckin’ up your whole meal
Gobble up your turkey like it cookies on the window sill
Fireplace, hang stockings, throwin’ up a tree
Decorations look nice, celebrating me

[Bridge: Santa Claus]
Um, hey, listen, I’m really sorry about your dinner, but there’s really no reason to look
melancholy. Because tonight it begins and ’tis the season to be jolly

[Chorus: Three Wise Men]
Santa’s a narcissist
He won’t stop until it’s all about him
He has holidays on his hit list
Easter Bunny better hit the gym

[Verse 2: Santa Claus]
Hors-d’oeuvres move aside I’m the main course
Come with 12 side bitches and a white horse
I’m white knightin’, hit it fast like greased lightning
Sippin’ booze in the bath like I bathe while bootleggin’ Miller
Moon lightin’ as a stone cold killer
The lot’s wives look back, turn into salt pillars
Got no time to reminisce on holidays I’ve usurped
I hardly smelled their remnants when I burped

[Outro]
And Veterans days next, motherfuckers
And Halloween’s next, motherfuckers
And the list goes on and on
And the list goes on and on
Fourth of July next, motherfuckers
Your birthday next, motherfuckers
And the list goes on and on
And the list goes on and on

RG Barton & Elijah Saiger, Senior Staff Members