A Letter from Your Zombie Secret Admirer


The following letter has been translated by renown Undead Anthropologist Dr. V Franks.

My dearest beloved,

I know this letter must come as a surprise. After all, who am I to claim the affections of a maiden so rare and beautiful? And yet these words have found their way to your stunning eyes. I may lurk in the shadows, forced to walk between dusk and dawn, but I still know radiance when I see it. You, my love, are radiant. Though the sun may boil my flesh, your light only tempers my heart. I seek only to meet you. I wish only to find more of your elegance and beauty. I desire to f—

At this moment, Dr. V Franks was eaten by the zombie whose letter he was translating. The following text is the remainder of the untranslated letter.

I desire to… OooOo rrrglllr baaah lahb mhmhmmmm azzam ohmhmhm mmmmm. Mhmhhhho ggrrgrrrl ohm zammazahh hohh? boohoo hhho ohohmm mhm mm.

Lrrrgggg hohom mahhhb ooohh, hob hooh grgg mmmmmm mhmmm. [Indistinguishable blood splatter] Hhmh! Grrrgl, Bah bgh mah zambah. Ganar gahnahm nah zazamb ahaz harh


-Hannah Wagner, Senior Staff Member