6 Reasons Nick Jonas is Still Your Dream Man

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Seriously? You clicked on this? Honestly, I’m not really surprised at all but like this is just about the worst time waster on the internet. And I have to WRITE these for a living.

Mmm what a hunk

Honestly, I hate this job. Coming out of college as an English major was tough, and I took the first job I could get. I never thought I’d end up writing for a shitty BuzzFeed knockoff as a kid but here I am. I wrote a NOVEL. Can’t an editor publish that and make me the next J.K. Rowling? Nope. Instead, I’m writing for the worst boss in the world and get assigned these stupid headlines for clicks.

Yes, Please

What are you even doing here? Don’t be like me. See me as a cautionary tale. If you’re an English major switch to something else.  And if you’re still in high school don’t waste your time reading these. STUDY. Become a chemist or something smart like that. Honestly, I don’t care.

 

Dave, are you okay? I started reading your article and you don’t seem so hot.

No, Cindy, I’m fucking not okay. I’ve been lied to all my life.  Everybody always said I was gonna be the next big young adult fiction writer but it’s all been for nothing. I wasted four years for nothing.

Dave for what it’s worth I think you’ve been really good at this job the past few months. Hell, your starting position was an article writer. My job is to write captions for the photos we use, and I don’t think I’m getting promoted anytime soon.

Thanks, Cindy. I just don’t know what I’m doing with my life anymore. It’s really hard to get up some days.

Hey, I’ve been there too. We’ve all been there. You’ve just gotta keep your head up. You’ll make it someday. I believe in you.

Thanks.  That honestly means a lot coming from you, Cindy. It’s just hard.  Hey, do you wanna maybe get lunch sometime?

I’d love to.

-Allan Labanowski, Sundial Alumnus