Doctors have NO idea how CLICKBAIT works!


Doctors still have no idea how click bait works. I mean, why would they? They’re so busy treating their own patients that they don’t have time to learn the design rhetoric necessary to make a clickbait thumbnail. I mean, why would they? It’s not like clickbait could be used to deliver safe and accurate medical advice from professionals to a mass market of media consumers. It just not feasible and there is no money to be had in it for general practitioners.

Obviously, most doctors can understand that “bold text grabs the viewer’s attention” and “list of dead celebrities paired with a picture still living celebrity” will get clicks, sure. They went through eight years of school, four of them were for medical school, which I hear is very difficult. But most doctors still have no idea how the biggest gimmick of the gosh-darned twenty-first century works.

They just haven’t learned the skills necessary to dodge those annoying pop-ups that us, the hip, young, tech-savvy, internet denizens of 2017 know about. Maybe it’s a time factor, but honestly, looking at an X-Ray of your grandma’s cancer can’t take too long, right? Maybe, what, ten minutes? Then walking into the room to tell her she has cancer is another ten minutes, so I don’t know what doctors are doing with the rest of the 23 hours and 40 minutes they have with the rest of their day, but they OBVIOUSLY aren’t using it to learn about click bait, because they still have no idea how it works.

So then, what’s the deal? Where’s the beef? Why don’t some of the smartest minds of our generation understand the machinations of the electric plague upon all our Facebook feeds? I can only pray that some poor patient explains the WORST problem of the twenty-first century to them and that doctor has the faculty to understand how clickbait works.

—Adam Hribar, Senior Staff Member