Trump To Take Unexpected Vacation Over Spring Break


President Donald Trump has recently disclosed his plans to the press regarding a surprise decision to take a hard-earned vacation to the Oval Office. Donny T, who has been putting in long hours working on his expertly crafted 140-character nuggets of truth while slaving away at his modest Mar-A-Lago Resort (recently renamed from the Mar-A-Lago-Trump-A-Rama-Gluten-Free-Dolphin-Free-Wait-Never-Mind-Actually-100%-Organic-Free-Range-Dolphin Resort), claims his “revolutionary progress on immigration reform” and 2-stroke improvement on his golf game has earned him a break in calm, idyllic, totally-not-protest-riddled Washington D.C.

Trump’s humble living has attracted the attention of many, including the long dead but still insane ghost of philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, who says, “Trump’s strict diet of well-done steak and ketchup is the embodiment of ascetic philosophy.” The rest of his interview was cut short by an exorcism performed by the strongly dissenting and still immortal priest Grigori Rasputin.

-John Gudz, Contributor